Being Present

  Although it is Wednesday and I have already had 3 days of training in this week I keep going back to wanting to write about my Saturday morning Clubbell Yoga session. It was fantastic. Although my body was sore and fatigued from my hard hitting week of training doubles, my muscles felt mobile, flexible, firm and alive. I was able to access a few new poses and binds that I have struggled with in the past. I was present with my body feeling so grateful and connected. I LOVE CLUBBELL YOGA. It feels like my reward from all the hard training I do all week. This may sound funny considering it is a kick ass 75 minute sweat session! My body just jives with it. I think it is that I have practiced it enough now that the union of my breath with movement happens more naturally and I easily get into a place of flow that puts me into a state of presence.

Being Present had been a struggle for me in the past. My personality as a little fireball go-getter has me running from one thing to the next juggling many plates in the air all at once. I do get a lot done in a day, more than most, but it comes with a price... Lack of Presence... I seem to have an inexhaustible energy to get things done that comes from I don't know where. Perhaps growing up in a family of 16 and there ALWAYS being work to get done I never developed the understand of rest or relaxation. Now as a single parent, running my own business while starting an additional fitness business and constantly learning new methods and systems of training, I have little down time. It is very tempting and habitual to be many places at once in my mind.

 In my conversion from religion to spiritual awakening over the past several years I have been introduced to meditation as a way to become more present. There are many forms and methods which I have tried. I get better and better with practice but as a kinesthetic person it takes physicality to hold my attention. Just adding movement to my breathing and feeling my body work brings me into a present state. Movement meditation can be as simple as washing the dishes for me. Methodical thoughtless movement bringing me to mindful presence.

This is another reason I love training hard with complex movement, it demands my full attention. When I am pushing my body to its limits or playing with a new movement I forget about everything else. If when balancing heavy clubbells in guard position, my mind wanders for a second, I lose it (and often hit myself in the head ;-/). If while practicing my hand balancing I start to think about anything else I fall. Movement training is a break from my habitual multitasking jumbled thoughts.
I am forced to be present.

Training with the Clubbells is very much  new and complex for me. I am still totally in my head with the movements. I am learning to trust my body's ability to move fluidly. I often get too worried about doing the movement textbook perfect and I make it harder than it needs to be.  It has been a learning curve to accept that my curvy 5'1" body will look very different doing the movement than most other people. As I continue to practice and hone my skill to the point of not needing to think about each component my focus will shift to my breath the movement will follow I will find the flow. There is a lot of learning and understanding of the movement that needs to happen until then but that is why it is called training...

   The best cross over of all is that as I continue being present in my training I am able to be more present in my daily life and thus finding flow in everything I do.

One thing at a time. One moment at a time. All that exists right now is this very moment
and I am so grateful for that!